Yan · 的空盒子

ZZZzzzzzzzzzzzZZ

im just too dumb !

goodness.

what am i doing?

wake up pls.

what have you promised yourself?

okay stop it now.

dont know why, i feel things are more like a fake dream.
when she asks me that question, and her comments.
hrm, suddenly a thought flows into my mind.
"yea, am i so..?" for a few seconds.
the thought answers me a 'no'.
then the second thought goes.
"omg, what am i doing then?"
=.=" i feel like i'd lost my way
angels~ pls guide me~! lols

okay now, what do i feel?
i feel like.. things are not in my hands.
i couldn't reach them, no matter how hard i stretch.
i cant feel any.
but i know, i want to grab them badly.
i wish i could hold them tightly.
so that i can feel every single thing.
i would know every little thing.

but they seem far from me.
they'd never came near me.
somehow it makes me wants to get them even more.

sometimes i wonder.
sometimes im worried.
sometimes i fear.

is this true?
im not used to it.
i feel pressured.
always when i have to squeeze things out.
i never had need to do this.
i'd tried my best, but still i knew it's not enough.
but im not the one who can easily speak.
everyone knows.

and that is also the reason why,
"more cheerful and talkative"
are in my list.

i sense something.
there's no sparks.
yet i dont feel like it.
im afraid.
so im trying even harder.

gosh, this isn't me, really.

still remember when i was figuring how long will we last in such relation.
yeah not to deny it's been a long period of time.
finally, it doesn't continue to be like this anymore.

we are not like those days anymore.
maybe just a few days contact once.
anyway, i still put him as one of my good friend.
as he still knows some things that people don't know.

we may hang out after spm
that was what he told me
and yeah, i realise he's just a normal good friend for me =)

chatted with him last night, on msn.
told him bout some stuff
and asked him bout how things going on.
he said might be a no.
by the time i was thinking,
hrm? this is the very first time he answers like this.
i don't know, maybe im just thinking too much.

anyway, im still relieved.
cause i had no harsh feelings when he told me the thing.
and never like before, i'd used to put him out of my phone.

Woot~! ^^

didn't know things would get that far.
just in a click of time.
anyway, although im seriously super duper tired.
but yet im satisfied. =)

shocked me.
i saw J all in a sudden.
when we were buying tickets.
i stunned, forgotten since when i'd never met him anymore.
he was with a girl, lols.
anyway, it's not any special to me.
i'd totally put this guy out of my mind. =)

the movie.
damn regret to watch that stupid show -.-
not to say really bad but, kind of er. so so lar..
will be much better to watch other movies i guess.
i wana watch house bunny! XD

bought 2 tees in IZO.
had promotion, 2 for 40 bucks.
didnt really want to buy at first.
but pek influenced me. =.=
ended up, we bought them together. ^^

mood was actually being disrupted few days before.
cause of some stuff.
but yes, im out of it i guess.
be an optimist, to be happy.
it makes me understand people more though.
i see clearer about people around.
sometimes it's not just only about you.
your kindness doesn't always confirm to be paid. =)
so, i'll never reveal anything either.

hrm, aren't babies are lovely?
yes, they are always so. =D
omg pls, i want to sleep earlier today!
eye bags are like pandas @.@ Zz

相信吗
多两个礼拜
我就要面对人生重大的考试

2008年真的很难熬
眨眼间 走到了尽头
眼前一曙光 普照着我的未来

五年就这样过去了
学校生涯就快脱离了
正是一直以来抱着的无数期望
终于 它降临了

五年里 无可否认
它带着许多回忆
每一段时期 每一段不一样的心情
曾拥有的友情 曾失去的爱情
大家嬉戏玩闹的时候
单纯暗恋的心情
傻乎乎的过着每一天

回首一望
我看见了自己
仿佛一面镜子
从中一到中五
从天真无邪 不断在改变 至今的我
已不再是刚入学的十三岁小妹
且快踏入十八岁的少女

怎样的心情 怎样的我
茫茫人海 路该怎么走
得靠自己 我该学会懂事了

突然百感交集
难以形容
最近 生活多了
莫名而来的作客

跟A已不再
跟B已不是
换来的CDE

P和Q的改变
看透谎言世界
R已成必用品

真相早已看透透
心灵伤害
面具还是得戴
不闻不问因为
原来一切已不再

唉~ 气的……
这样的对话早已厌倦了
又冷又没意思
有时候还真觉得蛮累

没回你 告诉你
你竟给我这样的回应
是啊 就算是那又怎样
就算我真有答应他
那又怎样？
你管得着吗？

但我什么都不要
为了什么？
还要听你的讽刺
你不懂就算了
累死

一两个字的简讯
我厌倦了
没有意思的内容
我厌倦了
冷酷的对坦
我受不了了

如果为了解闷而敷衍两下

我 不 希 罕

我……
有……

手机了~~~

好舒服呢！

XD

超感激~~~ T.T

今天原本是个好日子……
从早上起来到两点多在sp……
今天我们朋友很多很热闹……
大家都很开心的……

然后我们去看戏……
看完戏……
大家散场了……
我下着楼梯……
开开心心跟pek埋怨着那部戏很废……
走到一半……突然想起手上没有电话……
我跑回上去座位……
人都走光了……
剩下我们十几个人在戏院里……
东找西找……　大家都在帮忙……
可是……　找了老半天……
结果算了……电话开始打不通了……

感觉好像很扫大家兴……
走出戏院……本来感觉自己也没什么
ｐｅｋ一问我要不要上厕所……
踏进去第一步……
强忍的哽咽……
泪流了……
姐妹们的安慰……
让我更难过……

也许对于某些人来说……
只是丢了个电话
无所谓……
可是我不一样……
手提里有很多我不舍得的东西……
而且向我这种每分每秒都捧着手机的人……
现在超级不舒服的……

之后其实心情不是很好……
但是朋友想待晚点……
九点多回去……
妈开始训话
虽然没有很生气……
但是…从一开始我心里有数
新电话他们是不会买的……
朋友还说好……　可以换新电话……
我自己都觉得惭愧死了
根本就没想要求爸妈买新的……

其实最不可思议的是……
在电话不见得那一刻……
我担心的竟不是电话……
我着急的不是电话……
而是……他……
一回到家……
第一件事就开电脑……
但……不在……

短时间内都没有电话用了……
我该怎么办？
ｈａｉｚｚｚｚ……

你知道吗……

Ｉ　ＣＡＮＴ　ＬＩＶＥ　ＷＩＴＨＯＵＴ　ＨＡＮＤＰＨＯＮＥ！！

哭~~ =（

放假咯~
一个礼拜~
终于可以休息休息了~


刚刚吃晚餐回来



在餐厅无聊拍拍的照片~



自恋的爸爸逼我帮他拍的 =P



还要我放手提 wallpaper
每天看着他的照片 哈哈

那是他们之间的事
根本一点也扯不上我
多事的我 有多不该

她对他的否认
令我觉得 我很多余
显得 似乎刻意编故事 闹是非
但事实 一个比一个多

今天听说 好像真的没了
但怎么说 曾经 是被肯定的

这些又与我何关？
为什么每每讲起来
心里 还是很不甘 我不甘

很想告诉他 这些那些
不了 不说了
多管闲事 最好不要
最后只会显得自己愚蠢
成为了 是非人 破坏者

为了什么 心不甘
因为 我知道
我的话 不算话
她的话 才算话

刚从taylor回来
今天那里举办中秋晚会
又请了Jym来
这是第二次见到他了

之间跟朋友到处逛了逛
热闹的街
夜鬼都纷纷溜了出来

还剩一个星期
考试就要结束了
接着直接宣布放假
然后……
要开始与魔鬼奋斗了

11月11日
正式开始SPM大考
转眼间
我快要毕业了！！

前几天的不愉快
今天的我
露出了最灿烂的笑容
心里的高兴
实在无法形容

当老师告诉妈的时候
我偷偷瞄了下妈
奸诈的笑了笑
哈哈
看得出妈也很开心~

其实自己也蛮讶异
分数创下了我最高纪录
不算低级的考试
这该是我最大的突破
虽然不是说真的那么超级好
但是对于我来说
我本来只求个及格
结果 我的努力没有白费

我成功！！

PASS WITH MERIT~~~

真的很感激 MISS LEONG
虽然只是短短恶补三个月
她付出最大的努力
为求帮我过这鬼门关

庆幸自己不负众望~

许燕恩 ！ 你毕业了！

*clap clap clap* =D