Yan · 的空盒子

dont know why, i feel things are more like a fake dream.
when she asks me that question, and her comments.
hrm, suddenly a thought flows into my mind.
"yea, am i so..?" for a few seconds.
the thought answers me a 'no'.
then the second thought goes.
"omg, what am i doing then?"
=.=" i feel like i'd lost my way
angels~ pls guide me~! lols

okay now, what do i feel?
i feel like.. things are not in my hands.
i couldn't reach them, no matter how hard i stretch.
i cant feel any.
but i know, i want to grab them badly.
i wish i could hold them tightly.
so that i can feel every single thing.
i would know every little thing.

but they seem far from me.
they'd never came near me.
somehow it makes me wants to get them even more.

sometimes i wonder.
sometimes im worried.
sometimes i fear.

is this true?
im not used to it.
i feel pressured.
always when i have to squeeze things out.
i never had need to do this.
i'd tried my best, but still i knew it's not enough.
but im not the one who can easily speak.
everyone knows.

and that is also the reason why,
"more cheerful and talkative"
are in my list.

i sense something.
there's no sparks.
yet i dont feel like it.
im afraid.
so im trying even harder.

gosh, this isn't me, really.